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The month of love

With Valentine’s Day upon us and the pressure to display love for your significant others mounting, it can be easy to get caught up in the here in now of our relationships. While I do not claim to be any kind of relationship expert I did learn something recently that really resonated with me.

In an effort to better ourselves and our marriage, my husband and I attended a marriage conference put together by our church. Of course we are not perfect and can always learn more about being better for one another, so we went in with open hearts and open minds. The main message for the weekend focused on expectations and how to manage those and/or meet those for one another.

During one of the discussions I presented a question about how to meet the expectations for a spouse that shares the same fears and expectations as yourself. We were encouraged to put the overall wants for the relationship as a whole over our immediate wants and needs. This really struck me.

So much of the time in our relationships we are living day to day trying to meet one another’s needs. However, this can actually be detrimental if we are not taking into account our goals and dreams together as a couple. While there are needs and expectations that will be met along the way, it is important to remember that sometimes we have to lose small battles in order to reach our bigger goals. What I found most interesting, is we do this all the time with business and ourselves, but we rarely think to apply this to our relationships.

Marriage is a delicate dance and some days are better than others, but it is important to remember that there are two people. Two sets of needs and expectations. Two sides to the story. So, when it comes to reaching our goals as couples there will be times when you “win” and times when you “lose”.

As we approach Valentine’s Day, I encourage you to talk with your spouse or significant other about what hopes and dreams you all share and what steps you can take to get there. Intimacy is so much more than physical touch. Love is deeper than roses and chocolate. Give your loved one your time and attention this month. Remember to look ahead to those bigger wants and needs rather than the petty day to day expectations that can hold us back.

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